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about
My inner rage, confusion, distorted self and insecurity is like a demon or a friend. you're not alone.
lyrics
Devil’s raging inside of me like my brain getting dopamine
Fallen angel feeling heaven when the nerves are in oblivion
Praying omens to be saved so there is no anxiety
Suicidal survival with tendencies as the silence is deafening
Even in the summer theres somber
Understanding being alone is the lesson I learned
Distance inside creates distortion
suddenly gutted and broken
left confused feeling sublimed
being ripped in two
Im asking all these questions while I'm
contemplating depression
Chasing like a diamond
human beings pretending to be golden
Even though your saying we’re wholesome
I still feel like a demon
A damned heretic to a heathen
No more fucking reason
I ask my therapist is there anything left for reason
The more I crawl to you with some hope
I'm opening the door for your abuse
I know Im not perfect and I feel awful
For things I don't know what
Why couldn’t you have shown
You don't have to tell me, if you really meant those promises
Making me feel like everything
about me is lost in wrong
I ask what if I did this and that
I pulled a plug cus you tried to keep me on a leash ay
Even though you were making barriers
Always blackmailing and stabbing , is that what it means to be friendly
I don't want to worry, just be clear to me
I don't want to feel a friend I'm fucking is starting to
fuck with me
Im not going the be the insect in your spider web
Like every other man around you
Another devil mentally broken
Another angel that cant feel again
Another prayer that wont be saved
Another suicide that wont end
Making promises you cant keep
Always avoiding things that can be fixed
Only guided by impulses
Deluded by your ignorance as bliss
Blissfully infatuated with mad love
Anxiety delved deep in trust issues
I let you go and wont forget
The good that was left alone
credits
released November 28, 2018
This song is self-produced. I started writing/recording this in Chicago IL during the summer of 2018. July to be exact.
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